Maddened by Rain and Orange Blossoms
Oh! Ha! I'm just kidding of course I'm just kidding. I didn't do that. Sink to my knees and sob, that is. Though maybe I saw myself doing that--it really felt like a release to see that glowing blue patch of sky. But I really am stalking my neighbor's orange tree. God, I'm turning into a junkie, a flower junkie, an Orange Blossom Junkie--man, that sounds lame. I was actually contemplating flower theft today, so that I can smell that orange-blossom goodness at home, any time I
At first, I thought: orange-blossom sugar?--like the way you make vanilla sugar. But, no, it's too perfumey. I once tried a chocolate truffle with rose-infused cream and I was not won over. The whole food-smelling-like-bath-soap concept...nuh uh.
So what about orange-blossom-infused alcohol for... sniffing... and stuff?
Well, that would still require the poaching of the neighbor's tree. But there are so many flowers! I mean, would it be so bad? Could I get arrested?
119 [911 equivalent in Japan] operator: Ye-es?
Neighbor with orange tree: Help me. Oh my god, you have to help me.
Operator: Ma'am, please calm down and tell me what's up.
Neighbor: That girl... with the short-legged dog... She's back. And she's doing it again.
Operator: Doing what?
Neighbor: Sniffing! For god's sake, please make her stop. She's sucking up all the pollen, leaving nothing for the bees, screwing up the pollination process, ruining next year's orange harvest. [I know nothing about growing things, so give me a break.]
Operator: Holy balls. Okay, whatever you do, do not approach her. She sounds weird. We'll send someone over right away. Don't worry, Ma'am, we will put a stop to this sick, sick girl.