Questions that Cause My Brow to Crinkle Adorably

While some people sit and ponder philosophical matters, I sit and ponder:

  1. would people with hairy armpits use stick deodorant? Does the waxy stuff somehow fight and claw its way through the thicket to reach the skin beneath?

  2. do people who go on a diet that cuts out one of the major food groups think that (a) this is a good idea and (b) they could possibly maintain such a diet without eventually [i] going bald/toothless from malnutrition (which strikes me as counterproductive to the most common goal of dieting) or [ii] caving like a big pile of rocks?

  3. don't men fight for widespread acceptance of skirt-wearing? Women fought to wear pants, and I believe skirts are just as worthy. They're so much more comfortable and well-ventilated than pants, especially on hot summer days. You'd think, with all those sperm in danger of overheating, that guys would wish to get with the program.

  4. does synchronized swimming have to propagate an overall atmosphere of a psychotic military-run funhouse? I think what those women can do is an athletic miracle. Yet for reasons I cannot fathom, they feel the need to ridiculize (yes, my word) the dignity of the sport with the goose-step march to the pool, the hair that looks like they practiced too close to an oil spill, the painted dummy grins, and the menacing music compounded by a lot of exploding in and out of the water with "grrrr" arms and clawed hands. Whenever I watch synchronized swimming, I want to focus on the athletes' skill, but I end up helplessly distracted by the theatrics instead.

  5. before the pesky existence of borders and mean customs officers, when humans were free nomads traversing the earth, did a bunch of us decide the Arctic would be a neat place to settle? I imagine these people, wandering further and further north, witnessing the steady recession of most life-forms, and they thought what? This is great. Let's keep going until we're engulfed on all sides by blinding-white landscape, where we'll never have sex naked ever again, and we'll eat mostly frozen things as chapped as our faces? I know there are people out there who love cold weather, and maybe we were a little more hirsute back then--but I'm talking about the very beginning. If life was once all about the most basic survival, wouldn't wanting to move to a place that cold be like having an evolutionarily suicidal gene? Obviously I've forgotten everything I ever learned in social studies class--except how sailors used to get scurvy; and also pemmican (like an energy bar made with powdered meat, berries, and fat)--so I'm sure there's a painfully obvious answer behind this migration mystery.

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Funny post! OK, what I think about those synchronised swimmers is that they do that goosestep and those crazy clown grins so that their performances will be purged of all perve-worthy connotations. I mean, their shapely calves and round bottoms and other bits are waving about for attention in the air half the time. Talk about objectifying the body by reducing it to its various parts. So if people get distracted by their "grr arms" then they won't think about what it means to have 10-12 wet chicks contorting themselves in public view with slow-play-back option if you're watching it on TV. Same thing for the Rockettes on land or Icecapades on well, ice.

Also, I'm going to add ridiculize to my daily vocabulary. Today I added "titchy," which is great to say. If I had to make a sentence with it, it would be, "For a man with large hairy thighs, it was extremely discourteous of Adam to wear such a titchy skirt."


from iain

6/15/2005 12:37:00 PM  

ouch... now I HAVE to think
waxy hairy armpits ??? AAARRRGGGHH
Hairy legs and skirts??? nooooooooo

.Maybe the ones in the ARctic think they might be the lucky ones and live in the warmer parts. Any move needs effort and what if....shudder they end up in another place colder???
If it were me I'd be too cold to care to move anywhere--just hibernate..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

from keona

6/16/2005 06:19:00 AM  

Very funny :D Uh… Maybe some men don’t want to wear skirts because they are embarrassed about their legs not being hairy enough…?
BTW, I noticed that some of your posts show only part of the text with the [more] link at the bottom and others show the full text without the link. How is that possible? I tried to do that following the instruction in the blogger help, but it added the [more] link to all the posts and I couldn’t figure out how to do that selectively. Can you tell me how, if you don’t mind??  

from obachan

6/16/2005 08:27:00 AM  

Hi Iain! Ahhh, is that what it's all about? The de-sexing of synchronized swimming? But what about tennis, with all those nubile golden creatures bouncing about in little skirts, flashing their undies with each serve?

What's titchy, by the way? And I think I need another example of its usage in a sentence.

Keona, only now do you perhaps grasp a fraction of the mental torment that lurks behind this seemingly merry blogger. Hey, haven't you ever seen a man in a kilt? You live in Canada, don't you? Our high school physics teacher happily donned his for our graduation ceremony. Bag pipe, knee-high socks, the whole kit 'n kaboodle.

Obachan--I've never heard your theory before. Interesting. So men are ashamed if they don't have enough leg hair? I never knew!

By the way, I've posted the solution to the expandable posts. Hope it helps.  

from Rachel

6/17/2005 05:35:00 PM  

Lots of Scottish men and kilts but they wear knee highs :) . I try not to look too long either LOL you get distracted by those big Sporrans  

from keona

6/19/2005 05:03:00 AM  

You bad girl. 

from Rachel

6/20/2005 02:04:00 PM  

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