Because of Edward

I've decided to have a few ongoing posts, which I'll keep adding to. Here's my first one, a tribute to that stumpy, hairy, demanding guy in my life.

Because of Edward:
  1. I have a live-in welcoming committee, whose sole member makes me feel well loved but sometimes takes his dedication to the extreme, pulling out the "HELLO RACHEL!" banners and violently wagging tail every time I come home, regardless of whether I was gone for five minutes or five hours, and each morning, as if we hadn't been in the same room all night.

  2. I'm now qualified to join the circus. Ladies and gentlemen, try to suspend your disbelief as Rachel balances in a typhoon, holding an umbrella aloft in the crook of her neck, deftly picking up dog poop with one hand, and with the other hand rescuing a dog (who is lunging madly into the street trying to get at the dog on the other side and is completely unaware that it is standing in the way of an oncoming vehicle), all the while giving directions to the nearest library in a foreign language!

  3. My neighbors think I'm an unbalanced nut. Here's what they saw when I first moved in: a crazy-haired woman in a t-shirt standing alone on her balcony at odd hours of the morning and night, muttering/yelling things like, "toilet," "poo poo," "whoa, NO!" and "good boy!" I live in an apartment, without the luxury of a yard, and I was trying to toilet train a creature that literally had to go the bathroom every hour. The solution: puppy training sheets on the balcony. Unfortunately, when your dog only comes up to your shins, no one can see the piddling pooch, just you looking strung out from no sleep, terrifying all the mothers and children walking by.

  4. I've touched poo with my bare hands - hey! This one is practically a rite of passage when you've got a dog, or perhaps a small baby. It's never intentional, for god's sake. You think you've got a nice whole plastic bag that you're going to deftly slip your hand into, pick up the goods, invert bag, and voila, poo in the bag. Well, sometimes plastic bags have holes. I've learned to always check first.

  5. I have extended conversations and even non-relationships with strangers I meet on a daily basis, whose only connection to me is that they too own a dog or they think Edward really likes them (when actually Edward acts like that with everybody).

  6. I laugh a lot more.

  7. Stay tuned. I know, you can hardly wait.

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Ah, but Edward hasn't peed on you yet has he? That day will come too, my friend. 

- Lynn

2/10/2005 04:04:00 PM  

Hehehe.. take solace, yours is not a snowstorm nut!!!!
Mine will want to go out even middle of the night ( few times!!)when its storming. Neighbours have seen me in floppy slippers out in the snow middle of the night with a crazy Old english sheepie 

- keona

2/12/2005 01:51:00 AM  

Lynn, has Libby peed on you before?!

Keona, I can just picture you wading through snow drifts in your bedroom slippers, towed along in the drift of a big, furry barge--thanks for making me laugh! 

Posted by Rachel

2/13/2005 12:14:00 AM  

You're welcome Rachel , hope you're feeling much better

o yup... the embarassment we go through for our pets. The neighbours get a real show..as I take him in our yard and we have sensor spotlights." There goes our ditzy neighbour with her furball doing the mid night ballet again...... and again... and again...." 

- keona

2/13/2005 10:15:00 AM  

Can't resist another doggie-baby parallel. Touching poo unintentionally - happens too often. Way too often. I should disinfect my hands. As for the neighbours, they either think (a) I'm an evil mother - Sara sometimes yells nonstop for no other reason than to exercise her vocal cords (b) I'm nuts because I talk to her in this loud, high pitched squeal and babble silly things to her. 

- Hsin

2/13/2005 10:26:00 PM  

No, Libby will never pee on me, it was Jack. Lifted his leg and aimed right at me.

But I did had to catch Libby's poop with my bare hands once, when she was about 10 wks old and we were in a cab. Thank goodness it wasn't runny. I try not to think about it. 

- Lynn

2/14/2005 10:07:00 AM  

LOL Very soon you'll remember every stranger you meet
by ( insert pets name)'s mum or dad hehehe 

- keona

2/15/2005 01:33:00 AM  

Hi Rachel,
This post had me laughing out loud! Ah, the dedication, selflessness and manual dexterity of pet owners. Someday I will join your ranks. (If you had written this post minus the Edward references--you know, if the title had been "just because" instead of "because of Edward"--you would quite possibly have come off loony.)
And Lynn, I thought it was pretty selfless of my sister to catch baby barf in her hand so as not to let it spew onto a friend's new couch, but your taxi story is quite admirable and will certainly stick with me for a while. :-) 

- Jessica

2/15/2005 07:28:00 PM  

Hsin-Li, I honestly think we should co-write a book for new parents, from a dog training perspective. At first it would be shocking and controversial ("Chapter 3: Cages Are Not Cruel"), but then everyone would end up with well-trained babies. What do you think?

Lynn, I love that story about you, Libby, the taxi, and the poop. It's heartwarming.

Hi Jessica, nice to hear from you! Now, if the title of this post had been "Just Because," I think all the references to poop would have been downright gross and puzzling.  

- Rachel

2/16/2005 12:10:00 AM  

hah - my parents' cat has been a source of much worry to me lately due to his increasing number of visits to the vet, but he does not seem to realise that voiding copious amounts of urine all over my mother's desk is not exactly the right way to encourage her to spend lots more money on his treatments... and before you refer me to the RSPCA, his current ailments do not include incontinence. We think it might have been a revenge tactic as he hates both cars and vet surgeries, but it may backfire on him rapidly as mum starts daydreaming about cute little problem free kittens... 

- The B

2/21/2005 11:09:00 PM  

I will not begin to speak on this theme.

5/20/2011 08:34:00 PM  

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